Tip of the Week: Allergy Information for Parents

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Tip of the Week

How to enjoy the holidays on an allergy-restricted diet

Helping kids obey their food restrictions during the holidays By John F. Taylor, Ph.D., and R. Sharon Latta

Holidays can be stressful enough.
But with so many seasonal functions centering around food, having a
child with food allergies can be
overwhelming. To help make the
holidays more enjoyable, this article features an
excerpt from the book,"Why
Can’t I Eat That! Helping
Kids Obey Medical Diets," by
John F. Taylor, Ph.D., and
R. Sharon Latta.

Commit to the dietary guidelines

For holidays, special events, or even just an ordinary day, your child should be committed
to following the dietary guidelines. She should have an underlying attitude that a holiday celebration
does not give license to test or stretch dietary limits. The commitment must be made in advance of a given event so
that she can avoid the temptation to rationalize about eating off-limits food.



Despite dietary restrictions, your child can fully participate in the festivities. Maintain a calendar with your family’s holiday
events and commitments. Identify what types of foods are likely to be served. Clarify in advance with the host, hostess, or sponsoring group how your child prefers to handle the various activities and food situations. Perhaps it would be appropriate to offer bringing particular food items, which she could share with others. It might be helpful for her to take along diet appropriate
food items that are similar to what the other children are eating.

Involve your child by working together

Make a conscientious effort to include
your child in the joy of holiday food

planning, shopping, and preparation.
As you work together in these activities,

there are opportunities to stress
the importance of observing the diet
even when it is difficult to maintain.
By doing so, you are equipping your
child for the reality of living with
dietary measures over an extended
period of time. She may even develop a
sense of personal pride in her special
food as she participates in these
types of holiday plans. The goal is to
convince your child of the truthfulness
of the belief that permits her to say:
"I’m special, and I eat special foods to
help me feel better. My food is just as
special as the holiday food others get
to eat."




This is the time to go that extra mile to prepare a favorite food item. Cookbooks offer tantalizing holiday food ideas that can be altered to accommodate children's dietary guidelines. Locate those rarely used recipes you might have tucked away for special
occasions and take the time to prepare them. Traditional family recipes frequently can be adjusted also, and serving a favorite family treasure could be of real encouragement to your child.




Some major holiday treats acceptable for your child’s diet may be available in specialty sections, or even regular departments of grocery stores. It is prudent as a rule to purchase an ample amount so that you have these special treats on hand when your child attends a holiday event. She may wish to share her special treats with other children. This act of sharing something special can help build her feelings of belonging and acceptance.

Prepare your child to recognize unsafe foods during the holidays

Prepare your child for the probable event of being offered a food item that
is not compatible with her diet. An overly zealous host who constantly
encourages guests to indulge in a variety of food selections can present
a challenge for even the most staunch dieter. Discuss with your child how
this overbearing gesture might be handled. Remind her of the
importance of self-control with respect to eating. Encourage your
child to relax, eat slowly from acceptable food selections, and enjoy the
experience.




"I’m sorry, but I cannot eat ______.
Thank you anyway" is an effective
way for your child to set limits on an
overeager host. Rehearsing various
situations by role-playing may prove
helpful. An abrupt or defensive "I
can’t eat that" retort might insult the
well-intentioned host. On the other
hand, your child may opt to receive the
particular food item being offered and
then pass it on to an accepting sibling
who is not bound by the same dietary
restrictions. Under some circumstances,
your creative child may wish
to receive the food, and then negotiate
a trade with a sibling or a friend so as
to bring an acceptable reward to herself
after all.







Be tactful when inquiring about the
types of food being served. While
you should not feel apologetic for
your inquiry, you should anticipate
that most people are unaware of your
child’s need for dietary intervention
and specific details related to the
diet unless they personally have been
involved with your child. Your inquiry
is not out of place, an imposition, or
an insult. If, however, you sense that
the host is offended or feels awkward,
immediately reassure that you are not
suggesting a change in the entire menu
to accommodate your child. Instead,
make it clear that you are simply trying
to determine how your child can best
handle the eating situation. If the host
seems determined to offer a questionable
food item but you sense that he
would be open-minded, suggest that
he use a specific brand name or a substitute
ingredient of your choosing.

Non-food alternatives for celebration

To reduce possible confusion or conflict
about food choices, de-emphasize

the serving and eating of food. Instead,
attempt to focus on other joys of

holiday celebrations. Continuing to
participate in various meaningful

family traditions channels positive
thoughts and energies for the entire

family.




There are always exciting alternatives
to an elaborate dinner or party at
someone’s home where the primary
focus of attention would be on the

serving of food. Specifically attempt to
plan a particular celebration around

a community event, sight-seeing excursion,
or outdoor activity. Any snacks or

meals during the celebration should be
low-key.




Tap your child’s creative talents for
decorations, announcements, or festive

setups. Consider having your child
help make decorations for the entire
area occupied by the party -- centerpieces
for tables, window displays,
individualized name tags or place
cards, or even costumes. A small holiday

craft item can be a special treasure
for guests if your family is entertaining.

Your child will enjoy the opportunity
to experiment, discover, dream,
imagine, and express original ideas in a free
and open way through arts and crafts. Display
the production proudly as an expression of her
uniqueness and as a gift of love. It is the process
of producing the item, not the quality level

of the finished product, that provides the real
source of joy at holiday time!

Final preparations before the holidays

Be aware of potential difficulties in relinquishing
dietary supervision to adult care givers
for extended periods. Make appropriate
preparations ahead of time, provide clear
instructions, perhaps prepare some food
yourself, and convince the care givers of the
importance of upholding the dietary guidelines.



During extended travel, carefully select the
destination and mode of travel, the items to
be brought along, and the restaurants you will
patronize. Develop effective methods of getting
restaurant personnel to help you find correct
food items for your child.




During holidays, take advantage of the need
to prepare special holiday food, encourage
meaningful nonfood traditions, and support
craft projects as substitutes for focusing on
food. Prepare your child ahead of time to resist

the temptation to overindulge with food. By
following these types of procedures, you can
help ensure continuous dietary cooperation
even under times of disruption in ordinary
mealtime routines.





John F. Taylor, Ph.D, a practicing psychologist, has
written extensively on parenting and has workedwith children with special dietary needs. He and R. Sharon Latta are authors of "Why Can’t I Eat That! Helping Kids Obey Medical Diets," a book that offers perspective on helping children follow medically necessary diets for conditions such as food allergies, diabetes, cancer and digestive disorders, from which this article is excerpted.
Find out more by visiting www.add-plus.com.



Reprinted with permission of the authors.








This article first appeared in the Winter 2007 issue of Support Net™.


Approved by KFA Medical Advisory Team November 2007; updated November 2008.